The Anxious Generation Author
First reflections
I’m a big fan of the following maxim:
If you’re thinking without writing, you’re not really thinking.
~ Leslie Lamport
And so these are some first, unpolished thoughts on a topic I want to become better at. While simultaneously forcing me to voice my opinion rather than having an AI try to do it for me. (Btw, I’ve only tried that once and was so frustrated with the process and lack of personality and agency in the generated text that I ended up scrapping it altogether after trying out 10+ different prompts)
I had lunch with a good friend today. On the bikeride home I was listening to the most recent episode of Hard Fork. There were a lot of really interesting ideas discussed, but two thoughts primarily peaked my interest and triggered me to go sit down in front of my keyboard tonight. 1) The Anxious Generation and 2) Haidt’s reflection on his mission for the next few years.
The Anxious Generation in a nutshell
Jonathan Haidt is new to me, but apparently his 2024 book has taken the world (and NYTimes bestselling list) by storm. The premise is twofold: Adults have since the 80s overprotected their kids in physical environments and underprotected them in virtual ones. Especially in his talk on the podcast he emphasizes how much the social media platforms is to blame for the stress and mental distress that today’s kids are under. (And he puts almost no emphasis on the comparison dilemma, but rather highlights the immense amount of really serious problems: Sexual predators, premature exposure to drugs, alcohol, porn, Stigma and Sextortion). Essentially kids aren’t allowed to play nearly as unsupervised as before, but no-one knows what they’re exposed to online.
While the debate is not really new to me, I was taken aback at how firm he was on this being fully the fault and responsibility of the tech giants. And the book outlines 4 “norms” that should be legislated and imposed to counter this:
- No smartphones before high school
- No social media before 16
- Phone-free schools
- More independence, free play and responsibility in the real world.
(No I haven’t read the book yet, and yes I asked an AI to highlight the premise for me.)
and what about me?
I’ve been highlighting this discussion at our dinner table, and I’ve been a firm advocate of trying to push the entry of a smartphone into my daughters life (who’s still not even in school, mind you) as far into the future that I possibly can. But I’m also no fool, the peer pressure and context will probably force my wife and I to concede parts of this position at some point. They’re even closing down the frickin’ non-smartphone networks and forcing you to buy newer cell phones over here.
Still, I hold a positive belief that the debate that’s already brewing, and the decisions that are in the making might buy my family just the time we need. In short, I think that policy is going to adhere to some of these norms to a point that we won’t have to stand against the tide. My hope is that the system will take care of the norms for us. To be frank, it’s really the only way that the little guy will have a chance in this. If the only way to maintain some kind of personal integrity in this regard is to flee the country or even flee civilization altogether, then maybe that’s just too big of an ask for a parent with a tech job in a tech capital…
But. It is making me think that we really need to be more mindful of our behavior (my wife and I) around the kids and in the house (can’t believe I’m grown up enough now to use that sentence!). And sure, we adults are just as exposed to the dangers too (which, Haidt argues, is probably why his ideas have been gaining that much traction. Did I mention he got called into President Macrons office on a one day notice?), although our minds aren’t as neuroplastic and therefor not as threatened. All in all, we need to put our phones away more, specifically social media, for us but primarily for our kids. (Which I’m not really on nowadays anyway).
A final thing worth mentioning in this is the fact that Haidt isn’t arguing about the utility of the internet. He welcomes it, but there’s a difference compared to actively looking up information that’s available out there vs being force fed clips that someone has upvoted in emotional distress on platforms designed to maximize profit through engagement. Anyhoot. Now to that other thing.
Haidt’s mission statement
When talking about the book Haidt reminisces that before the book’s release he imagined that he would spend a few months promoting it. Taking the summer off and then getting back to his regular research work. Little did he know that thing would blow up to the point that he’s now constantly working, and his plan to write a book on Democracy have been pushed into the unknown future. He says that he’s 62 and can count on maybe 10 good years with his brain in fully working condition, tops. And so what should he do next?
This was the argument that impressed me (while for some it may be obvious). With his mission statement in mind (researching moral psychology and using those findings to help people understand each other and institutions highlighting those principles to work better) he says that he could either carve out time to work on his next book project that he’s been waiting for, or he could ride with the wind in the sails and pursue wherever this street will take him.
While for some people the success driving his book and ideas forward might make an obvious path choice, I can definitely see myself pulling towards the other choice. You’ve been expressing your ideas for two years - and you’ve gotten traction! There are now others that can push the agenda now that the movement’s in place. And he has more items on his todo-list - how could he leave them hanging? On the other hand, that’s ridiculous as soon as you zoom out, and especially once you view it through the lens of the mission statement. He wants to help people and institutions, and there’s way more legroom for him to be put in those conversations and rooms now! I believe that’s actually a crucial fact in this equation. That he has a primary purpose that can push out other things on his plate.
Focus. I.e. doing the right things. Man I’m passionate about that stuff. But it’s hard! We often think that we need to weigh important vs non-important tasks. While in reality its almost always (in any problem worth solving at least) important vs really important. You just need to figure out which it is. Granted, 80+ weeks on a bestseller list might help you make that call, but still. Sticking to what works over what you might be really hoping to pursue is not a trivial choice!
I’ve made (with what I still believe to be the right reasoning) the call to pursue what I think will serve me in the long run over what would look the most successful in my career so far. I had traction but I went for a reset in a slightly new field. And I still stand by that choice, but hearing Haidt’s argument makes me realize that there are definitely times when you should stick to the wind you have in your sails over trying to lay out some master puzzle of all the pieces that I believe that I should have before trying to make it big. After all, if you’ve got all the potential in your pocket except for the opportunity to realize it, what good is that pocket? As financials will tell you, the possibility to make less money now can highly trump making more money later, if later and more is very uncertain.
So. Final takeaway out of this musing on a single podcast episode that I’ve probably spent more time writing about than listening to? Don’t wait till you have all the marbles ready to roll. Expect to be half-baked when you’re called into action. And make sure that you’re making some good calls now on your parenting, career and time management. Because you’ll never have all the answers. Maybe that’s what I’m really getting at: Stop being so comfortable and go out and take some more risks. After all, inaction has 3 to 1 regret ratio over taking action. I’ll take those odds.